Feeling Down Today

I found my long lost post that I thought I lost... it's still a shitty day.
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I'm not the jealous type. Really, Im not. I tend to think I have my head on my shoulders and that there are some things out of my control, so why worry about them? However, the past few weeks have been frustrating. Im pregnant, Im hot, Im ready for Tradd to come. I'm READY. Maybe I wasnt AS ready before, but Im so ready now it's not even funny.

I have a bunch of friends who are pregnant and due around or after my due date. So why do I find myself being just utterly jealous and pretty much pissed off when one of the have their baby and I am still sitting here being all big and pregnant? I got a text from one of my girlfriends and she had her baby last night... 7lbs10oz and did I mention she is due 2 days AFTER me? The ideal way to handle this would have been to text her back right away, say congrats, can't wait to see more pictures, and ask her tons of questions because it is her day. What DID I do? I sat at my computer and cried. I didnt just cry though, I sobbed until I couldnt breathe. I sobbed until my eyes were bright red and puffy, and then I blogged about why I am so upset. Im JEALOUS! How can this be? My thoughts are "this isnt fair! Why can't I have MY baby?? Why is EVERYONE having their babies before me? IM READY!" Oh, my boss also has his twins this past weekend... big, heatlhy twins, spent a fraction of a second in the NICU and are coming home today. His wife was due two weeks after me. Once again.. not fair. Sorry to be a Debby Downer today... I just can't get over the fact that I have had contractions since 14 weeks and am STILL pregnant. sigh.